this article is copyrat kajonk enterprises 2019, i think

Sometimes I stomp custard into grass,

it molds in and

all lap it up as if it was water or as c a v e the not as good christmas holiday calls it walter, the custard becomes green and for some reason when its snowing, it becomes yellow, and you shouldn’t lick the yellow custard, only the green, because green is green (dramatic chipmunk will bite you for reading that out loud and he has rabies so beware)

Animated GIF of Dramatic Chipmunk, who is actually a prairie dog but never mind.

I started stomping custard into the ground when I was a foetus, i was inspired by my umbilical cord who would whisper to me, urigng me to do it, all my mother ate while she was pregnant with me was custard because I would throw up anything else she gave me like the little rebel I am,

har har,

so when I was born I was birthed with all the custard that I stored and immedietely I began to stomp it into the hospital floors, the nurses screamed and tried to baptise me right away because I was apparently a demon, all I wanted to do was stomp custard, I wasn’t possessing anyone or doing anything wrong, so I didn’t understand the issue here, to solve this I decapitated them with the scissors used to kill my dear friend, umbilical cord,

my mother put me up for adoption after that and I am still deeply troubled, but its ok because I kept the cords corpse, and he joins me to stomp custard for all the animals to lick up when they’re thirsty (or hungry, custards consistency is questionable) which makes me a very good person, despite the murders I commited at a few minutes old,

to carry on my saint streak, I’ve decided that I will experiment with stomping milkshakes into the ground for the children, because everyone, excluding the lactose (cowards) likes milkshakes, although, I won’t just be stomping the milkshakes as they are, I will be making them in a different way, by stomping straight up cows into the grass,

it makes a great frothy broth and it can be done very stealthily and in a kind way, the cows will be looking at the grass anyway because they have to eat, and they will die doing what they enjoy best,


also, everyone likes green milkshakes- one day I will stop [Editor’s note: *stomp] blue dye into the ground so that I can make blue milkshakes and custard, because i like blue, and I will never stop stomping custard into the ground, not for any milkshake, custard was my first love other than my cord,

uwu rip.

[Editor’s note: what the fuck is this shit]